Getting there...

The job is going better. I'm on nights now and it's a little slower. The days routine was really frustrating for me with the constant interruptions. I think it would be beneficial in this job to be a bit ADD. I'm a very focused individual and can't handle interruptions very well. I wish I could multitask better, but I get confused as to what I was doing. I've even started charting and then been interrupted and can't remember what I was charting.

I also think I struggle with PTSD because of some of the weird things that I walked into during my first weeks of orientation: Massive Vaginal bleed from a 90-year-old woman (very unexpected when she has been fine and all of a sudden her bed is SOAKED with blood!) A man just transferred from CCU with chest pain (I gave him some ice water and he clenched his chest---a STAT EKG showed he was truely having a heart attack! so back to the unit with him after having him for only 5 minutes) Using Narcan not once, but TWICE in a week (wish PACU would wait until the patient actually meets criteria before transferring to the floor, DUH, instead of sending them to me breathing 5 breaths per minute).

Anyway, I've always needed some time to process things in my head. Day shift is not a good shift for someone who needs to process. Night shift, so far, has been a little bit better. I don't cry everyday anymore before going to work, which is a good thing for my poor husband. I'm hoping I'm getting the hang of it. My preceptors say I am doing well, but I need to work on my confidence. I am feeling more like a nurse now, anyway.

Lord, if this is your will for me, I pray I will start feeling better about this job. Otherwise, I pray you will gently show me where you would have me go. I also lift up T to you. Her appointment is Monday, and some good news would be appreciated! Amen, and Amen!